Kenya was recently voted amongst
the worst places to be born in. Haha. My apologies but yes, I find it quite
hilarious. And anyway, it might be true if Tana River is anything to go by,
though am cock sure the voters of that particular poll must have been watching
Kenyan television channels on Election Day. After all, Kenyan entertainment
will make you want to befriend a screwdriver and chew on razors. Literally. Is
it just me, or there seems to be some sort of policy against any trace of
intelligence in our television content?
A five year study from UTMTC (University
of Tuuze Ma-Degree Tudosike Chapchap); Department of Haribubongology just
released its findings on the subject and the results are disturbing to say the
least.
For further information on the research findings, kindly
refer to Professor Geosphine Wakaranga’s thesis titled ‘The Abunwasi who
discovered and Unleashed Naija Movies and Phillipino Soap Operas to the Kenyan
Populace ’08-‘13 ’.
The half decade project research revealed
that the biggest effect on the Kenyan brain our television content has had, is
that our women and children now talk in those hideous (YES,I SAID IT; HIDEOUS) Naija accents. As if that is not torture
enough already, they make those mentally exhausting storylines points of
references for their own miserable lives. If I hear one more ‘let me tell you
my sista OH! Hata Mama G alikuwa na hiyo shida kwa hile movie ‘Oga Goes to the Witchdoctor’…
Mother-in-law wa Naomie ni kama huyo kabisa OH!’
SERIOUSLY@*^%#!!!!? Find a tree
stump and bash your head with it.
 |
| THIS IS AN ACTUAL NAIJA MOVIE COVER |
Matters even more disturbing; the
demographic that talks like this is not just the house helps. Even some of the
self-entitled ‘young and suave’ Nairobi chiquititas are rocking the Nigerian
madness. I wonder if it’s because they need something to match those wigs?
When you study ‘Educational Psychology
in Television 101’ you will learn that; audio visuals are some of THE most
effective teaching aids there are. What happens when the television is on and
your eyes are glued to it is referred to as ‘programming’ for good reason. You
see, what we watch on television affects how we think, dress, talk and relate. In
some cases, our level of exposure informs what we aspire to become.
Hence my question; how does Papa
Shirandula, Inspekta Mwala, Beba Beba, El SalvaWTF&^%# ‘program’ us and
propel our thinking higher up the intelligence pyramid compared to say… the
National Geographic and Discovery Channels? Heck; even the Series Channel teaches
a thing or two.
Life imitates art and vice versa.
Whichever way you spin this dice…it spells doom for the consumer of our local content
currently on air.
There are so many Kenyan
production companies with amazing content that for some reason never see the
light of day. Bureaucracy and conservative-parastatal like mindsets deciding
what goes on air, are in no doubt to blame for the sorry state of affairs on
our local television channels.
Case in point; how much do you
know of the rest of the African continent? The world? Kenyan cultures? It simply
takes one to watch subscription television to realize that we have a serious deficiency!
Our disgruntled youth is finding escape in Ksh 50 pirated and x-rated content
and our men are cursing Mututho because they need a drink in the bars now more
than ever.
We have become the soap opera/
Naija movies dumpsite capital of the world.
Television programming is more
than just the entertainment value it gives; it’s also serves as an avenue for
the decimation of information. There is a spin off effect on our intelligence,
our problem solving capabilities and no doubt it also dictates the level of sophistication
(or lack thereof) in our day to day conversations.
My suggestion therefore is that local
stations realize that not everybody is into this epidemic and it’s up to them
to salvage their reputation and win back the rest of us who still have hope yet.
Give us alternative content!
No comments:
Post a Comment